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Some what not true stories

Started by Robby, April 20, 2015, 12:54:42 PM

Previous topic - Next topic

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Robby

OMG!! ONLY in Tupelo, MS!!  I had just pulled into a gas station and as I pulled up to the pump I noticed 2 Police Officers looking at a woman who was smoking while fueling up. I saw her & was like .. hmm what an idiot, with the police right there too!
I went in to pay for my gas.

As I walked out I heard someone screaming. I looked outside & that woman's arm was on fire! She was waving her arm around & just going crazy! The officers quickly put her on the ground & were putting the fire out with an extinguisher.

The officers put handcuffs on her & were about to put her in the police car. I was thinking... what in the world???!!! Soooo, being the concerned citizen I am, I asked them what they were arresting her for? As if catching her arm ablaze wasn't punishment enough. The rookie officer looked me straight in my eyes & said .. 'waving a firearm' ..
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I will put you in the trunk, and help people look for you, DON'T TEST ME.

denny

I KNEW IT WAS THE ALIENS!



"FREE ME FROM EXISTANCE"
It is what it is...

foxgrove

Where God leads, His hand always provides
...so keep Calm and code on....

Foxgrove

countryboy

 A new scientific study regarding penis size and thumbs!!!!!!!!!!!

When measuring the size of the thumb, measure from the tip of the thumb to the last joint in the thumb where it connects to the wrist .   This is more realistic for the average male.     old-man/cane


IT IS BETTER TO BE CONSIDERED A FOOL, THAN TO
OPEN YOUR MOUTH AND REMOVE ALL DOUBT.   But
UNFORTUNTELY MOST PEOPLE REFUSE TO LEAVE ANY DOUBT.  -unknown-

ANY FOOL CAN CRITICIZE, CONDEM AND COMPLAIN --
AND MOST FOOLS DO.   'Benjamin Franklin'

denny

Of course CB, we must be precise. :emocrazy:
I KNEW IT WAS THE ALIENS!



"FREE ME FROM EXISTANCE"
It is what it is...

countryboy

Remember to add both thumb sizes to be more accurate.          Maybe that would be wishful thinking, but at this age any size is fine.   :LOL:
IT IS BETTER TO BE CONSIDERED A FOOL, THAN TO
OPEN YOUR MOUTH AND REMOVE ALL DOUBT.   But
UNFORTUNTELY MOST PEOPLE REFUSE TO LEAVE ANY DOUBT.  -unknown-

ANY FOOL CAN CRITICIZE, CONDEM AND COMPLAIN --
AND MOST FOOLS DO.   'Benjamin Franklin'

denny

I KNEW IT WAS THE ALIENS!



"FREE ME FROM EXISTANCE"
It is what it is...

ronr

+ 3 inches on the length according to ARCHIMEDES triangle where you take the square root of the hypotenuse times two, plus three and eighty five - twenty thirds.

Started out like I knew what I was talking about.   :LOL:
Times are tough when "Happy Hour" is your nap.
My mind not only wanders, sometimes it leaves completely!

countryboy

#278
Sounded like wishful thinking on both parts of the statement.     :blue thumbs up:
Use your own disgression Denny.    :jawdrop:   Or your imagination   buttkick
IT IS BETTER TO BE CONSIDERED A FOOL, THAN TO
OPEN YOUR MOUTH AND REMOVE ALL DOUBT.   But
UNFORTUNTELY MOST PEOPLE REFUSE TO LEAVE ANY DOUBT.  -unknown-

ANY FOOL CAN CRITICIZE, CONDEM AND COMPLAIN --
AND MOST FOOLS DO.   'Benjamin Franklin'

Robby

Fifty-one years ago, Herman James , a North Carolina mountain man, was drafted by the Army. On his first day in basic training, the Army issued him a comb. That afternoon the
Army barber sheared off all his hair.

On his second day, the Army issued Herman a toothbrush. That afternoon the Army dentist yanked seven of his teeth.

On the third day, the Army issued him a jock strap. The Army has been looking for Herman for 51 years.
/>----------
I will put you in the trunk, and help people look for you, DON'T TEST ME.

foxgrove

:emolaugh: :lmao:  Hilarious!!! :rotfl: :clapping:  Freakin hilarious!!  :rotflmao:
Where God leads, His hand always provides
...so keep Calm and code on....

Foxgrove

ronr

Times are tough when "Happy Hour" is your nap.
My mind not only wanders, sometimes it leaves completely!

countryboy

IT IS BETTER TO BE CONSIDERED A FOOL, THAN TO
OPEN YOUR MOUTH AND REMOVE ALL DOUBT.   But
UNFORTUNTELY MOST PEOPLE REFUSE TO LEAVE ANY DOUBT.  -unknown-

ANY FOOL CAN CRITICIZE, CONDEM AND COMPLAIN --
AND MOST FOOLS DO.   'Benjamin Franklin'

Robby

Miss Beatrice, the church organist, was in her eighties and had never been married. She was admired for sweetness and kindness to all.

One afternoon the pastor came to call on her and she showed him into her quaint sitting room. She invited him to have a seat while she prepared tea.

As he sat facing her old pump organ, the young minister noticed a cut-glass bowl sitting on top of it. The bowl was filled with water. In the water floated, of all things, a condom!

When she returned with tea and scones, they began to chat. The pastor tried to stifle his curiosity about the bowl of water and its strange floater, but soon it got the better of him and he could no longer resist. "Miss Beatrice", he said, "I wonder if you would tell me about this?" pointing to the bowl.

"Oh, yes" she replied, "isn't it wonderful? I was walking through the park a few months ago and I found this little package on the ground.

The directions said to place it on the organ, keep it wet and that it would prevent the spread of disease. Do you know I haven't had the flu all winter!"

The pastor fainted.
/>----------
I will put you in the trunk, and help people look for you, DON'T TEST ME.

denny

I KNEW IT WAS THE ALIENS!



"FREE ME FROM EXISTANCE"
It is what it is...

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