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How do you handle....

Started by Robby, October 04, 2015, 06:20:49 AM

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Robby

The funny part of all this is for years I worked in a supervisory position, and for good reason. Back as far as when I was 13 or so I was always a take charge type person. At that age, when I was out with friends, and situations came up I would sit there for a few minutes waiting for someone to take charge, since I was the youngest one there. After a few minutes, I would stand up and start giving orders, and people listened, it wasn't long until everyone at one time would turn around and look at me, and ask what we would do.

But now, I sit here thinking about all the stuff that needs to be done around here, cleaning, mowing, stacking firewood, whatever, and I know I can't do it. That means I need to be tell Brandon to get busy, but seeing how he has the mentality of someone between 13 and 15, I know he is going to start fussing about how I'm making him do stuff that I'm to lazy to do. He is just not able to understand all the time, that I'm not able. When he sees me trying to move and it's hurting me, he understands, but if he can't see the pain he has no clue, and that is something he can't help.

Then back when I was working, as a manager or supervisor, and even a regional supervisor, I had no problems cleaning the bathrooms. When it was just two of us in the store, or if everyone was busy, I did what needed to be done. I wouldn't ask anyone to do anything I wouldn't do myself. Now, I feel the same way, I just feel guilty about making him do something that I'm not out there doing myself.  That on top of him fussing because he thinks I'm being mean and unfair.

So how do you handle having to ask someone to do something when you can't, when you know that they are going to think your being mean and lazy?
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I will put you in the trunk, and help people look for you, DON'T TEST ME.

looneylane

Not sure there is any real good answer my friend! Just be as diplomatic as possible I guess

denny

I stopped asking.
The boy,last time i asked,said-and what are you going to do?
And he understands perfectly!

To be fair he does things on his own,he just dont like to be asked,so i dont.

So some stuff just goes undone when i cant. Im not going to worry about it any more.
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wmoore

Robby, can you bribe him to work? That seems to work sometimes.

Robby

Quote from: wmoore on October 04, 2015, 10:50:54 AM
Robby, can you bribe him to work? That seems to work sometimes.

I do that some, but not always. I specifically mentioned him as he's the one I depend on most to do things. I mean, Dawn and Garrett both work 40-60 hours a week, he plays video games 40 hours a week or more. Then like yesterday we had to go over to my Dad's neighbors and get some firewood they had given us. Dawn wanted to go to help, but I made her stay at home and me and Brandon went and got it. As usual, my side of the truck was overflowing, and I helped him finish the last 1/3 of his side, and now it will be another 3 days before I can get around by myself. (Garrett works nights and was still asleep at the time).

My point is 1. it had to be done, 2. Dawn had worked all week, it wasn't fair to ask/or even let her help, so I did it. What would you have done in this situation? Now the truck needs to be unloaded, once we got home I was hurting to bad to do it, and I just could not make myself tell him to go do it by himself. Now there would have been nothing wrong with that, and at one time I would have done it by myself. I just didn't feel right making him do it. Of course it's more than just the firewood, mowing the yard, going to the grocery store, which he hates, but Dawn works all week, I will not let her do it, when he can. There are times she's going anyway for something else, that's different.

How do you get to the point you don't mind asking someone else to do something that you should be doing? When the boys were 9 and 12, I taught them how to cook, clean, sew, and do laundry, and they were responsible for their own stuff, plus anything else I thought they needed to do, that's how I was raised. Neither wanted to learn to sew, that was for girls, but it wasn't long until they both had to sew buttons back on shirts and were glad they knew how. But now, I feel like such an asshole for saying "go do this or that because I'm not going to".
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I will put you in the trunk, and help people look for you, DON'T TEST ME.

Preacher

Friend that is one hell of a question! Sorry i have ni input or answer sas i am waiting as you are for that get off your ass like i was made to do but feel guilty because not by choice i cant anymore?!

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