I finally made the decision to get started

[Robby]

Wow! Foxgrove, you always say what I wish I could really say, so articulate.

He does that to me all the time,

Why so negative??  Today was just one day

I tried to say that I figured that was the problem, but then again when I was trying to work last year as a customer service agent working from home, taking calls and working on the computer from the bedroom. Yes I finally quit because of my flakey internet, but the last month or so I worked my 20-25 hours a week, and the rest of the time I was hurting to much and too tired to do anything. Then like today it's raining here, and of course my body reacts badly to rain, so I'm sitting here in too much pain, and with a brain too foggy to really do anything but feel sorry for myself.

That's what I'm worried about, days like this trying to stay focused on what is in front of me, is actually physically painful. Not too mention not being able to move. I feel that I really will find a way to get around all of this, I'll find someone that can help me keep things straight, but I know until I do find that person I can't think about getting started. I have a few people to consider already, I guess I'll see how it goes. I just hope my fibro cooperates.

[foxgrove]

I'm not trying to minimize what you're facing, brother.  Just trying to help you get your head pointed in the right direction.  When we constantly look down or worse, look back, it takes our focus away from the goal and brings us down.  I know it's gonna be a challenge and I'm really proud of you for being willing to go at it, even when it scares you.  That, my brother from another mother, is called bravery and you've got it in spades.

What I'm praying for is that it turns out to be one of those things that you just click to and the time passes and you just don't feel the pain so bad 'cause you're so deep into your work and it's good... you know what I mean... it's just good!!!  That's what I want for you... that's what I hope for... that's what I pray for.  I want good to come your way in spades but we gotta have our heads facing the right direction or we just fizzle out 'cause looking back is bloody exhausting!

I hope you fibro cooperates to... that and really really comfy seats!  Be well brother.  I've got your back, always! 

[Robby]

Fox, I really, really appreciate you kicking my butt and giving it to me straight and blunt. I just wanted to make sure I had explained that my problem was more than just being afraid. I have never been one to let fear alone stop me. But, I am a realist, not a pessimist or optimist, just a realist. If the reality is that there isn't much of a chance to succeed then I have to think real hard about if it's worth the risk of being put even farther behind.

So it is real good to hear someone being matter of fact about the possibilities of succeeding. I needed to hear it. Oh and I have to explain myself, I just do it, that doesn't mean I disagree, I can't stop myself from doing it.

[looneylane]

 

[denny]

You go on this robby!
Never give up...you know the rest.

[Robby]

This is the kind of stuff that scares me, today is Wednesday, today is also the first day since last Thursday-Friday that I have not needed to sleep 20 hours a day. Over the last 5 days I have still been posting, during the 30-45 minute time periods I was awake. I have tried to carry on as normal during those awake periods, that's just what I do, I cover up how bad I feel.

Last Thursday and Friday, I spent about 2 hours a day trying to get some stuff done, and then I spent the rest of that day, and the next 5 days taking pain pills and sleeping. Of course having chronic fatigue doesn't help in situations like this.

So I will ask, "How do you overcome your fears of not being able to do things, fears of (knowing) that what your thinking about doing is going to put you in bed for a few days? At what point do you say, 'experience tells me that I can not do this, so it would be better if I don't start something I know I can't do'?"

How do I overcome the major obstacles that will make it impossible for me to do this job? I have talked to a few people that I could call when I'm down, but paying them will probably cost more than the income they produce, so is it worth it?

I know I always overthink things, I can't make a decision without covering every possibility, and finding a solution to every problem before it's a problem, before I will make a decision. I also know that is what I am doing now, but I just can't make myself move past these questions.

[denny]

Rob by said:
"I know I always overthink things, I can't make a decision without covering every possibility, and finding a solution to every problem before it's a problem, before I will make a decision. I also know that is what I am doing now, but I just can't make myself move past these questions."

I hear you loud and clear.
My problem is I do all that and still make a bad choice.

You just have to try and fail...or succeed!
Its better than not trying at all.

The stuff you mentioned don't sound good to me personal but it sounds good in theory.
You just have to choose.
Its hard,I'll pray for you.

[mloved]

That's some good down to earth logic Robby.  Considering you are still recovering from that herculean effort
of the move, lot prep and the rest of the 9 yds - you'll be in a better position AFTER you've given yourself
ample time to recover.  Good chance it will make a difference in how you look at things.

If you say you've already recovered, well, that would lean to a different conversation.

[foxgrove]

Dude!!!  You're still recovering from all the extended extended extended output of energy compared to what you had coming in.  Your tank is still only sloshing at the bottom.  Give it time, brother.  Rest when you need to.  Don't beat yourself up for what your body is demanding you do.  Trust me, I completely understand the critical nature of your timeline but just throw that all on God's doorstep, stand back, and heal.  God will supply all your needs according to HIS riches in glory... not your riches... not your power... not you!!!

You remain in my prayers, brother.  Sis is bang on here... time is going to be a key here.  Until your body heals up somewhat and your spoons make more than a gentle rattling noise at the bottom of your sachel, it's going to go slow...

As to the "how do you get past your indecision"... well... likely a lot of those inside thoughts are negative.  Capture them and put them to the test.  As you've read, 'We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ' 2 Cor 10:3

I sent you a PM about contacting me.  Please do... that's why I'm here, brother! 

[Robby]

First thing, Fox I copied your last response to a notepad file on my desktop so I can read it anytime I need to.

Now YIPEEEEEE!!!!!   

I have my website online, (temporarily). I wanted to see if someone might have some ideas for improvements. I mean I've been looking at it for about a week now, I know there is a lot I'm not seeing, that will jump out at someone looking at it with fresh eyes, (that doesn't mean get fresh with me  )I'm going to give a few days to look at it, the guy doing my logo needs to see it also. Then I'll take it back down to keep someone from finding it by accident, until I'm ready for clients.

Oh, yeah notice the domain, it's .xyz instead of .com, .net, etc... I figured that would help potential clients remember the funny address. 

I do appreciate any help you might give, and if you decide not to help, I'll still love ya anyway, but I might call you some not-so-nice names. 

upassistant.xyz

[looneylane]

Awesome! Looks amazing!

[foxgrove]

Just a grammar issue... I figure it'll help you in the end.. "When your under pressure, call us to get it done" should be "When you're under pressure, call us to get it done"

It looks awesome brother!! 

[denny]

Did my email get on there?

Looks good robby!

And itailise "us"

[Robby]

Denny I have been extremely sick the last few days and haven't really felt like checking it, I'll let you know in the morning. I'm sure it will be then before I log back on.