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For Older People or those that are headed there

Started by countryboy, May 22, 2016, 02:08:18 AM

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countryboy

ARE WE THE ONES WITH DEMENTIA?   ARE WE THE ONES WHO ARE AGING?   REALLY??? NO!!

Recently, I went to McDonalds and I saw on the menu that you could have an order of 6, 9 or 12 Chicken McNuggets.   I then asked for a half dozen nuggets.    "We don't have half dozen nuggets", said the teenager at the counter.    'You don't?' I replied.    'We only have six, nine or twelve,' was the reply.    'So, I can't order a half dozen nuggets, but I can order six?'    'That's right'   So I shook my head and ordered six McNuggets.   (Unbelievable but sadly true...)
(Must have been the same one I asked for sweetener and she said they didn't have any, only Splenda and sugar.)    (And they think they are worth $15.00 per hour?)

I was checking out at the local Wal-Mart with just a few items and the lady behind me put her things on the belt close to mine.  I picked up one of those dividers that they keep by the cash register and placed it between our things so they wouldn't get mixed up.  After the girl had scanned all of my items, she picked up the divider, looking it all over for the bar code so she could scan it.  Not finding the bar code, she said to me, 'Do you know how much this
I said to her 'I've changed my mind, I don't think I'll buy that to day.  She said 'OK' and I paid her for the things she had scanned and left.  She had no clue to what had just happened.  (But the lady behind me had  a big smirk on her face as I left).

A woman at work was seen putting a credit card into her DVD drive and pulling it out very quickly.  When I inquired as to what she was doing, she said she was shopping on the internet and they kept asking for a credit card number, so she was using the ATM thingy.  (Keep shuddering!!)

I recently saw a distraught young lady weeping beside her car.  "Do you need some help?' I asked.  She replied, 'I knew I should have replaced the battery to this remote door un-locker thingy.  Now I can't get into my car.  Do you think they (pointing to a distant convenience store) would have a battery to fit this?'
Hmm, I don't know.  Do you have an alarm too I asked.  She replied, 'No, just this remote thingy she replied handing it and the car keys to me.  As I took the key and manually unlocked the door, I replied, 'Why don't you drive over there and check about the batteries. It's a long walk.....'
PLEASE  just lay down before you hurt yourself from laughing !!!

Several years ago, we had an Intern who was none too swift.  One day she was typing and turned to a secretary and said, 'I'm almost out of typing paper.  What do I do?'  'Just use paper from the photocopier', the secretary told her.  With that, the intern took her last remaining blank sheet of paper, put it on the photocopier and proceeded to make five blank copies.    (She was a brunette by the way)!!

A mother calls 911 very worried asking the dispatcher if she needs to take her kid to the emergency room, the kid had been eating ants.  The dispatcher tells her to give the kid some Benadryl and he should be fine.  The mother says, 'I just gave him some ant killer.....won't that help?.  The dispatcher said 'Rush him to the emergency room right now!.   Life is tough.  It's even tougher if you're stupid!!!!

Don't laugh because this is all true.

Now, PERKS of reaching 55 or being over 70 heading towards 80!!!

Kidnappers are not very interested in you.
In hostage situations you are likely to be released first.
No one expects you to run-anywhere.
People call at 8 PM and ask, 'Did I wake you?'
People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.
There is nothing left to learn the hard way.
Things you buy now won't wear out.
You can eat supper at 5 PM.
You can live without sex but not your glasses.
Your supply of brain cells is finally down to a manageable size.
You can't remember who sent you this list.
You will notice that there were very few big words used.


If you are like me, you have to print this out because you sure as hell won't remember what was said.
IT IS BETTER TO BE CONSIDERED A FOOL, THAN TO
OPEN YOUR MOUTH AND REMOVE ALL DOUBT.   But
UNFORTUNTELY MOST PEOPLE REFUSE TO LEAVE ANY DOUBT.  -unknown-

ANY FOOL CAN CRITICIZE, CONDEM AND COMPLAIN --
AND MOST FOOLS DO.   'Benjamin Franklin'

Robby

/>----------
I will put you in the trunk, and help people look for you, DON'T TEST ME.

foxgrove

Oh my freaking brain... that hurts just to read!  I mean, where do they get these kids from??  Are they bred in Cabbage Patches or something?
Where God leads, His hand always provides
...so keep Calm and code on....

Foxgrove

DEL

I will wear my gray hair with honor...even with Fibro-Fog I can do better than that! :Lightbulb: :imstupid: :naughty: :whistling:
"Today, you will be with me in paradise."

I have to be me; no one else wants the job!

Praise God and Pass the Ammo!

If only my Aunt had balls she'd be my Uncle!

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