Caregiver/SO

[denny]

When we are down mounth after month,what can we do to help them feel Better?
Flowers?
We have to put our heads together.
My mind is mush.

[countryboy]

A friendly chat usually does the trick if you haven't seen or talked to them in a while.   

[denny]

Ding! Light bulb over Head!
Education. And that's no small matter.

Sorta like a friendly chat.

[Robby]

I'm not ignoring this thread, I'm just as lost as you are.

When she's home I try to do as much as I can so she doesn't have to do anything. Other than that I'm dumfounded, no money for flowers or eating out or such.

[foxgrove]

I sure know what you mean.  They are precious as gold and yet there really is no way we can show how much we appreciate them while we're still being kicked down and dragged across the pavement.  Do what you can...  That's all any of us can do.  Here's a few things I try to remember to do that I know make Jo feel closer to me.

Spend as much time as you can with her.  If she's driving somewhere and you can physically manage the drive, go with her, even if it's just to sit in the car and wait for her.  

Listen to her when she talks... don't think about what you're going to say or how you're going to fix what she's going through, just listen!  It takes time to learn how to do that but it's so important.  If you're having trouble focusing on her words, don't just fake it, let her know that your head isn't focusing properly and can she repeat that last statement.  I know I've gone through entire conversations where I've listened attentively and can't remember a single thing... well, shucks and darn 'cause that didn't work, but I tried.  Remember that she doesn't need you to talk... she doesn't need you to solve things... she doesn't need your opinion unless she asks for it... just listen!

Hold her hand lots... kiss her as frequently as you can and remind her that you're not looking for anything, just letting her know you love her.  Once in a while I call Jo just to tell her I love her and miss her... sometimes I even sing it.  Be close to her, hold her and let her know you still think she rocks your world.  Remember how you were when you dated her and try to dig up some of those feelings... no... not the rabbit instincts... the other stuff!

There is little that we can do in the large scheme of things but lots of little things that, put together, become significant.  I snuck flowers in for our anniversary 11 days early 'cause that was the only day I had a ride somewhere and Jo was at work.  I've been keeping them alive for her and they still look really pretty.  Lots of water changes and plant food and when you do it it's a bit overwhelming but I think she knows that which makes it more precious for her.

The reality of it is that she takes care of me.  Period.  The amount that I do couldn't even buy a soda pop compared to the riches I've been blessed with through Jo.  I know that God loves me soooooooo much and Jo is my daily reminder of that.  And that's all I have to say about that.   

[denny]

Rabbits get all the credit.

[foxgrove]

I was going to say gerbils but that's a bit vague unless you've owned gerbils... nasty little creatures to sleep in the same room as!  "There they go again!!!" 

[denny]

That was nice Paul. Thank you.

We had hamsters. Is the same,No?
They are noisey critters aren't they.

[foxgrove]

Think hamsters only much faster and fit in the smallest places when you're trying to find them.  Bizarre little things!